All The Roosterbear That's Fit To Print

I almost forgot about this, as I've had a generous helping of Stuff to look at this week. But here it is. First, the questions:

1. Can you get a Ouija board to work for you? Why do you or don't you think it does or doesn't?

2. What made you decide to grow your hair long? How does it differ from your previous hairstyles?

3. You write so expertly about so many of your experiences - are you saving your LJ posts to compile into a memoir? If not, WHY?

4. Are there any 'insider' secrets you were privy to as a result of working for airlines for so long? (warning: this answer is involved.)

5. What personality traits and/or behaviours when exhibited cause you to think 'hmm instant friend!' or 'hmm instant foe!'?

And then, some answers.

1. Can you get a Ouija board to work for you? Why do you or don't you think it does or doesn't?
I haven't used a Ouija board in about ten years, the last time being with the Muse. And we got it to work just fine. I've never used it alone, but I would imagine that it wouldn't be as useful of an experience without a partner. (Kinda like some other stuff...)

I think it's a great example of something that works if you believe it will, and works well if you are clear about your intention, and what you expect. I can see it not working if you totally don't believe it will, and being kind of dangerous if you aren't really clear about your intention, and you have a lot of unexamined fear of the spirit world (for lack of a less hokey sounding term). The reason, as I see it, is that the Ouija board has been used as a gateway for centuries, and there's a certain kind of energy associated with it. It's almost like the non-physical world knows, "Hey! Here's a place we can connect with those corporeal (physical) entities." And your belief that it works is kind of like the "on" switch; you have energy associated with you, and it vibrates at its own distinct frequency, communicating stuff like your mood and intent among other things, and non-physical entities are a lot more sensitive to that kind of thing than we often are.

(You know how sometimes you "feel" someone staring at you? or someone says something catty and it feels like you've just gotten kicked in the gut? or someone gives you a hug and you feel that nice warm glow in your chest? Those are all examples of being sensitive to someone's energy. That sensitivity is like sight to a non-physical entity.)

The thing about the Ouija board is... well, it's also got this association with, as my mother puts it, entities of a lower vibration. In other words, it's kind of like the bar where all the riffraff hangs out. If there is an unexamined place in your psyche where you really want to be scared, or convinced of something negative, the critters you attract with a Ouija board will pick up on that, and play with you, cruelly. That's why it's best to use a board with another person, someone both who is quite grounded and around whom you feel grounded yourself. And at least one of you should have some experience with feeling energy, and being able to tune in to what (who) is coming thru, and setting boundaries. I also found it quite helpful when there was a third person acting as secretary, more or less, writing down everything that came across, so that later (when the excitement of the experience wore off) we could go over what was said with a fine tooth comb, and weed out the bullshit.

There are definitely better ways to get in touch with the non-physical, but if you work with someone who has experience, it's a decent way to get one's feet wet with energy work.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair long? How does it differ from your previous hairstyles?
This isn't the first time I've done it.

Last time, I think it was probably a mix of curiosity and rebellion, to be honest. I came out to my adoptive parents in 1993, and didn't speak to them for two years. With my dad, the silence was a direct result of coming out to him (he did not take it well, and partly because of my delivery, perhaps) and with my mom, it was in her attacking me and my choice of lovers that a lot of shit came to a head, and I was the one who wouldn't speak to her. So, at first, of course this was all very painful, and difficult emotionally. Eventually, though, I started to realize that I had a lot of opportunities presented to me that I didn't have before, restrictions and consideration that were no longer valid. So I did stuff that my parents never would have "allowed" before, when I was on speaking terms with them. Like getting my ear pierced (the first piercing). And growing my hair long.

At the time, it really went with the look, being the gym twink with the long hair and the single, small silver hoop in the left ear. But after a while, I got sick of finding my hair everywhere, and spending an inordinate amount of time maintaining it (since I worked on the ramp, it got filthy, often, so I washed it sometimes twice a day, and in that humidity it took forever to dry). In the spirit of experimentation, I buzzed it really, really short (like #1 buzzclippers), and even shaved my head for a while, more or less just to try it out.

I think what I learned in that phase was that I like my hair either really short or really long. I like either being able to tie it back or not even have to worry about combing it, one or the other. This time around, I just started to miss the long hair. I like having my hair played with, and I do like the way it looks and feels on my head (and neck, to be honest). So between the finances (I haven't paid for a haircut since Oct 2001) and the easier maintenance (I don't have to wash it so much now), it just made sense to me to let it grow again. I've noticed that lately I've gotten that itch to cut it off again, but I'm resisting it, mostly because it took about 15 months to get it long enough to kinda sorta fit into a ponytail, and I know somewhere between a week and an hour later I would being going "d'oh!" about cutting it off, but also because I think I'm too skinny to go with the almost bald look at the moment. (It makes me look sickly, I think.)

3. You write so expertly about so many of your experiences - are you saving your LJ posts to compile into a memoir? If not, WHY?
Um, thank you.

Some of the stuff, I would consider pulling together into a book. The public stuff is probably not publishable, because I've already exercised first printing rights to it by "publishing" it in my journal. The private and/or restricted stuff, though, might be publishable. I would like to think it would have a market, some day.

The kind of depressing thing about that, though, is that it would probably have more of a market both a) after I've already published something else, or otherwise become famous, and b) after I'm dead.

I have to admit that the thought has crossed my mind before.

4. Are there any 'insider' secrets you were privy to as a result of working for airlines for so long?
Oh dear. That could take up a novel in and of itself.

A lot of the stuff I could share would depend on what the other person wanted, or was trying to do. I'll attempt to cover the basics.

As far as something more general: I would highly recommend staying very, very far away from Priceline (unless you are neither picky about how long it takes to get there, since the routing usually sucks, nor in need of flexibility, because you cannot change a Priceline ticket At All, so if you are at all bad about getting somewhere on time, Just Say No). You can still volunteer your seat with a Priceline ticket, if the flight is oversold (you know, the deal where they put you on another flight and give you a free ticket to boot, if they need your seat), but that's the only kind of change you can make with it. If you miss your flight with a Priceline ticket, the ticket is worthless; no change fee, no standby.

I recommend traveling as obscenely early in the morning as possible, especially with longer trips, because air traffic control delays (particularly in the spring) usually make everything a mess later in the day, and there aren't enough options to reroute people at that point. The 6:00am flight, as painful as it is to make it to the airport on time, usually goes a lot smoother than the 3:30pm flight. (That's not an option if you're traveling overseas, since there's usually only one flight a day, maybe two, and they leave in the late afternoon/early evening. But make your originating flight as early as you can, legally. A two to three hour layover is not a big deal.) And make sure you get to the airport really early, because if your flight is cancelled or delayed, it gives you a lot more options. (I would even recommend, if the trip is important enough, going to the airport about a week before your trip and checking out how quickly things move about 30-45 minutes before your flight is scheduled to leave. But I'm a dork.) I also recommend going for nonstop flights where possible, unless you save an insane amount of money by making a connection somewhere. (I know, that usually rules out Southwest Airlines on longer flights. Boo fucking hoo.)

Speaking of Southwest, they're great for short flights (ie an hour or so in length) because when they enter such a market they usually have a gazillion flights, and you can usually get a good deal on the ticket. One thing to keep in mind with them, though, is that they cannot transfer your ticket to another carrier if your flight gets delayed or canceled. In some airports, they do manage to work out some complicated local deal with another carrier, but in general, legally they can't. There's an association that all the other airlines belongs to, the IATA, and they govern the rules for airlines booking and rerouting on each other. Southwest isn't a member (because it costs money, and they are a cheap carrier.) Fine for short haul, but risky for longer trips, in my opinion and experience. If you fly on them, make sure you get to the airport early, and remember that you have to check in at the departure gate (where the plane is, not the ticket counter where you first walk in) for a boarding pass (in this case, a plastic card with a number on it, usually a tacky color.) You have to check in at the gate, whether or not you've checked in anywhere else. The earlier you get a boarding pass, the earlier you get to board, and the better a seat you can snag for yourself. That's for each Southwest flight; if you have a connection on them, the first thing you do when you get to the layover city is check in for your connecting flight.

Oh, by the way, a big thing: nonstop and direct are not the same thing. Direct means that it's scheduled to be one plane, but it might stop anywhere from one to four times. (I remember seeing a Southwest "direct" flight from Providence to Seattle that stopped five fucking times. Really.) And sometimes there is an unscheduled equipment change at one of those stops (translation: a connecting flight that you have to catch, because the airline is rearranging its fleet for maintenance or other purposes.) Nonstop is what people usually think "direct" means: the plane takes off from where you are and lands where you want to be, with no stops in between. If you are shopping for a nonstop flight, make sure you say "nonstop" and not "direct" because airline people forget (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not) to explain the distinction, and might sell you a direct flight that ends up not being direct later, when there's a schedule change.

Another HUGE thing: If you buy your tickets online, not directly from the carrier, call the carrier directly later (or pay a visit to the airport, or a city ticket office if the airline has one) and confirm your reservation. Confirm that it's an electronic ticket, if that's what you selected. (Ahead of time, it's much easier to fix a mistake than at the airport an hour before departure.) Confirm that it's a valid routing; I've actually seen a person who booked thru Orbitz who was scheduled to fly US Airways Providence to Baltimore, and then connect to United on a Washington-Dulles flight an hour later to Atlanta (how the hell do I remember this crap?). It's impossible. But the computer thinks that Dulles, Baltimore/Washington, and Washington National (I won't call it R**g*n) are the same thing. Just like it thinks that La Guardia, Kennedy, and Newark are all "New York City." And so on. So double check the routing. Confirm your seat assignment (if you're not flying Southwest, since Southwest doesn't have advance seat assignments). And if they can't give you one over the phone, get to the airport obscenely early (but less than 4 hours before departure) to make sure you don't get screwed. And if you buy your ticket more than a month or so in advance, check back with them periodically to make sure there wasn't a schedule change. There often is, at least every three months. Don't let that be a surprise at the last minute. You can also request a special meal (like vegetarian, or low fat, or diabetic, for example; you don't have to do anything special except ask, at least 24 hours before your flight) when you talk to the airline representative. Often there isn't meal service if the flight is less than 3 hours (and that's each flight, not the entire itinerary), but it's worth it to check. (Southwest never has a meal. They might have a little snack on longer flights, but don't count on it.)

If you book with a travel agent, still double check with the airline directly. Some travel agents are good, and will take care of rerouting you if there's a schedule change. Lots of them suck, and won't. (In my experience, American Express and AAA were the absolute worst offenders. They fucked up so many reservations, and caused me much grief, when I was a ticket agent.) Going with a travel agent is fine, but you still want to contact the airline directly at some point before you travel. And make sure you give them a phone number where you can be contacted. They don't use it for spam; they use it to contact you when there's a problem. Giving the travel agent your phone number is usually not enough; the airline needs it directly from you.

Personally, I prefer electronic tickets. With paper tickets, if there has to be any kind of change made, you have to make a special trip to the airport to have it changed; electronic tickets can be done over the phone (assuming you have a credit card to pay any fees). And you have one less thing to keep track of; you basically have to remember the airline, the departure time, and your destination. The flight number is good to know, and the routing is good to know too (these make the ticket agent's job a lot easier), but it's not usually essential. The thing is, when you are going with an electronic ticket, make sure you get a receipt mailed to you. Or, if you get some sort of confirmation emailed to you, make sure that you have a ticket number. It should be 13 digits, and look something like this: 037 654185 8164 (it might have an 01 or 02 or such at the end as well, which is the "check digit"). That's vital, if something happens to your reservation (or one of those online ticketing websites fucked up and issued a paper ticket by mistake, and forgot to mail it to you) and the poor airline schmuck has to try to hunt down your ticket. With that magic number, you make his or her job a thousand times easier if there is a problem. S/he will be happy. S/he might even be nice.

Usually, though, electronic tickets are very easy to use. The overwhelming majority of electronic tickets I handled were easy, problem free, and if you lose a paper ticket you might have to buy a new one, or pay a huge fee (it was $100 when I was there) to replace it. If it's electronic, you don't have to worry about that. Once you get over the weirdness of walking up to a person and saying "my name is Joe Shmoe and I'm flying to Baltimore" and getting checked in, it's actually pretty cool. Sometimes, when you're flying out of the bigger airports, you can use the automated check-in pagodas with electronic tickets, which (depending on the airline) can be faster and easier.

And for chrissakes, have a valid, government issued, photo ID, and be ready to show it to lots of people. Don't even try to show a Sam's Club membership card or an old school ID. And if you're flying out of the country, get a fucking passport. It's not that hard. I can't tell you the number of times someone showed up with a just a social security card, flying to the Bahamas, for example, and I had to deny them boarding because they didn't have the right documentation. (If I had let the person go, US Airways would have gotten fined $10,000, and the passenger would have had to turn around and come home right away, at his expense.) It gets ugly. Each country accepts different stuff; some of them will accept a driver's license and a birth certificate, or a voters registration card, or a social security card (it's different for each country, like I said), but a passport always works for international travel. Make your life (and the airline agent's life) easier, and just get a passport. They're good for 10 years.

As far as baggage goes: generally, you're allowed three bags, total, for domestic flights. You can carry one of those three on with you, as long as it's small enough to fit under the seat. Sometimes you can carry on something bigger, but don't count on it, especially if you're seated close to the front of the plane; they usually board from back to front, and often there is no overhead space left by the time you board; it's best to keep it small. Often, those gawdawful rollerboard bags (like the flight attendants use, with the wheels), that are advertised as carry on bags, are too fucking big, and you will have to check it. Often, they'll allow a "personal item" along with your carry on, but it has to be really small, like a purse or a laptop computer. Sometimes you can get away with two carry on bags, but often you can't, especially if it's a busy flight. Don't count on more than one small carry on bag; it just makes your life easier. And put all of the following in it, if you have it and you can't carry it on your person (ie in your pocket or wallet): identification, keys, money, medication, anything breakable, one change of clothes, toiletries. Don't check any of that stuff. Don't put any of the following in your carry on bag: scissors, butane lighter, nail file, pocket knife, razor blades (not disposable razors, but the refill blades). (I know, it sounds like common sense, but lots of people don't think about it till they're being searched.) I would recommend not packing anything like baby powder, because it can spill all over everything and look like anthrax. (I've encountered that more than once.)

Each of your bags have to be less than 70 pounds, or you'll pay out the wazoo. And if a bag is over 100 pounds, they won't let you check it, at all. If you check something other than a standard suitcase (ie a cardboard box) you'll have to sign a release of liability; don't put anything breakable in the box, because it will probably break, and the airline won't pay for it. Check with the airline for dimension requirements; each airline has its own slightly different rules on that. Some, for example, will allow you to carry on musical instruments (space permitting). And if you are travelling to certain countries (particularly South America or the Caribbean) the rules can be even more restrictive. (Some destinations only allow two bags, period.) So, basically: don't be one of the idgits that think that you get three bags to check, and two to carry on. Total of three bags, including what you carry on with you. And some airlines count a purse as a carry on item. Travel as lightly as you can.

Things that will make it more likely that they'll check your baggage, and search your body: buying a one way ticket, paying cash, buying a ticket at the last minute, making changes to your itinerary (not schedule changes that the airline imposes, but "I actually want to leave on Tuesday instead of Wednesday" kinds of changes). And then, sometimes they'll just randomly pick you. Don't sweat it. They have seen plenty of condoms, tampons, sex toys, lube, underwear, and the like, and they don't really care about it. Really.

Generally, except with Priceline tickets (and a few copycat websites), you can fly standby on an earlier flight, if you get there early enough. But that only applies to the same day you are ticketed. I wouldn't recommend it unless you have inside information that a flight is wide open, and you are on a nonstop flight. And you can't fly standby for a different day, ever. That requires paying a change fee (unless you have one of those expensive unrestricted tickets, of course).

In the Northeast US, during winter, it's often better to take the train. ESPECIALLY if any part of your itinerary involves or overlaps NYC, Philadelphia, Boston, or any point in between. Those airports become a nightmare when it snows, and sometimes when it rains and it gets foggy, and even if you aren't scheduled to stop at any of those (say, Manchester NH to Baltimore) the air traffic congestion enroute can delay things. The train is a lot better: you can use your cellphone, you can get up and move around at will, you have more room, and (the best part) the train station is usually located more strategically; it drops you off in the middle of town, instead of an expensive taxi ride away. Especially if you're going to NYC.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, as it were. And I know, that was a lot of stuff.

(Funny thing: I once considered attempting to write a plot for a TV show, kind of like ER but focusing on airline employees instead of ER doctors. To be honest, though, so much has changed in the last year or so that I'm not sure that my material would even work. I had plenty of material from real life, though. Tons of it.)

5. What personality traits and/or behaviours when exhibited cause you to think 'hmm instant friend!' or 'hmm instant foe!'?
My mind doesn't really work that way. I go a lot more with how someone "feels", in a New Agey kind of way (see answer to first question) than how they act, probably sometimes to my detriment, but there you are. So it's not easy to frame it in terms of behavior.

As one example: I am sensitive to how well someone respects boundaries, I think; if someone can't give me space, or tries to stretch our time together as long as possible right off the bat, I generally back off. And if they continue to advance, or use guilt to try to keep my attention, it's pretty much curtains for that friendship. I've had my niceness taken advantage of too many times in the past (i.e. "he would never be rude enough to tell me that's none of my business/to back off/etc."), and I fall too easily into wanting to fix other people, so it's become a sensitive issue for me. A lot of times, though, I don't rely so much on specific behaviors or words so much as how they feel to me. And I know that's pretty nebulous and airy and indistinct, but that's just how I work.

I don't often feel "instant friend" with someone, probably because my style has almost always been to step back and observe. I know that it takes time to get an appreciation for who someone is; I'll admit that I've had some incredibly intense connections with people over a short time period, but I don't think that either of us came away "knowing" the other person. I'll usually give people a chance at first, for a while, though.

I hope that answer didn't leave you more confused.